Real Naughty Flash games
You know what I feel like doing? Performing foot surgery on Barbie. But there probably isn't a game that will let me do that, so I guess I'll just stick Sonic The Hedgehog on again. Oh wait, what's that? There is a Barbie foot surgery simulator? Terrific!
This, I'm 100% sure, is what goes through the mind of every little girl as she opens up Google. That, and 'Why do all my friends have boobs and I don't? It's not fair!'
Although I'm 30 years old and have started to say things like 'Why don't we go to DFS this weekend?', deep down I'm still about ten, and as such I feel perfectly qualified to write about the myriad games on offer for girls.
If you Google 'games for girls', the internet becomes a strange and terrifying place, filled with big eyed cartoon women and tweezers for cleaning out Shrek's ears. Because I'm such a dedicated, self-sacrificial writer, I decided to delve into the underworld of cheaply made Flash games aimed at girls. This is what I unearthed during my quest...
Before I continue, I should point out that gamesforgirls.com has a separate section for 'fun' games, implying the other games are no such thing. They are right.
Here's the game – in an annoying and repetetive cut scene, you look in the fridge and your purse, to discover they're both empty, then start scanning the local rag for jobs. Since you're a girl, there are only two jobs available – air hostess and gym instructor. I plump for air hostess, since apparently there's 'no experience required'.
Now we get down to it – securing the job. How do we go about this? Go on, have a guess. No, we don't offer sexual favours to the boss, but we do get to do the next best thing – choosing an outfit to wear! This is the outfit I went for:
When your character has managed to dress herself, you apparently win. There are then two options – play again, or kill yourself.
With theme music that sounds like it was written by James Blunt, My Favourite Sweater is the dullest game known to man. The object of the game is, once again, to get yourself dressed without dying or exploding. I sort of managed it, even though I forgot my shoes...
Also, notice the complete lack of a sweater? This game lies.
3. Mind Your Manners Tea Party
Hosted by Strawberry Shortcake, I'm guessing with no permission whatsoever from owner American Greetings. In this action packed game, you get to host a tea party with your equally braindead friends, and you have to pass them cakes, since they're too lazy to get the cakes themselves, despite being sat less than a foot away from each cake.
Also, each character has a life bar. I don't know what these mean, but I assume that if you stop passing cakes to your friends, they all die. Good.
4. Father And Daughter Ride Bike
This is Father And Daughter Ride Bike:
It is somehow your job to put some clothes on the daughter, after she's left the house.
5. Let Us Kiss
Oh, apparently it's now called Sneaky Kissing. I assume you have to run up behind strangers and lick their necks.
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The NGP's games will sell in brick+mortar storesby Endymion86
I think I remember someone in here asking about this earlier, wondering if the NGP would be strictly download-only like the PSP Go was. Here's our answer, directly from SCE's worlwide head, Shuhei Yoshida (taken from the article):
He assured me that games like Uncharted Golden Abyss for the NGP will be sold both in a physical packages and in an online store. That way people have a choice, he said.
*later in the article*
One idea floated that bubbled as a rumor was that Sony would install kiosks in retail stores that would allow gamers to bring in their NGP or its memory card, purchase a game and install it directly on the device
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